i'm alright... i guess

Going to Vietnam

2007-11-09T22:14:00.000+08:00

I will miss my family, teo n teoh, kenjugs and the rest of the guys.

Take care people. =)

Cya in 3 weeks time.

Soul to Squeeze

2007-10-30T00:18:00.000+08:00

Time to stop thinking.
Let go and let live tayjiaen :)

Serenaded by the terror bird

2007-10-10T21:16:00.000+08:00

Would you still love me?
For all the times I messed up
For the times I got mad at you
For all the scars I have
For all my imperfections
For all the pain and joy?

Would you still love me?
As much as I love you?

So White As Snow

2007-10-04T23:17:00.000+08:00

Well tomorrow's the big day, hope things go alright.

Anyway here's a big sorry to anyone who feels hurt or upset if I have (unintentionally) caused you to feel that way over the past few months.

SORRY.

I really am.

Walk, Don't Run

2007-09-12T21:47:00.000+08:00

I shall allow myself to hope =).

Godspeed.

Come Back To Bed

2007-09-04T02:23:00.000+08:00

My bed beckons... sleep offers momentuous relief and release from all the trouble.

Things have kinda whizzed by during the past week. I left for brunei on friday and here i'm back again.

I had hoped that the trip to Brunei would let things sort out by itself and I would have some time to think. Alone.

Guess I got what I wanted... but then again... how am i supposed to feel?

I'm no longer a third party. But is that something I should rejoice in? She made the choice... she chose... but who am i to gloat? I'll be a bastard if i did so.

Think. Think. I guess I'm not ready for something serious yet. She has been the centre-stage of my life for sometime now and like what nic said, I'll only be ready for her when i can manage her along with my studies and family.

Currently, the commitment problem is a headache. It was worse before when I knew she still had another. But things are different now, but I'm not gonna push it... not yet... Promos coming up... need to focus... FOCUS.

Who am i kidding?

She's still all that matters to me.

Gravity

2007-08-25T10:40:00.002+08:00

I seem to blog only when I'm depressed, and depression is certainly what has been affecting me these days.
There were those moments of bliss when I was just so happy to be able to explore something new and lovely but what do you feel when reality sets in?
The reality of she having another?

I'm wrecked with guilt. It's irrepressable. I can't stand it anymore.

They say you should be true to your feelings. But I can't. Just can't. I'll end up getting hurt a lot more. And She's gonna feel worse.

Listening to "Gravity" by John Mayer seems to fit the mood now. It's all blues with me now and it's that sort of song where anything could just happen and it doesn't seem to have a conclusion. It parallels my life now cos I'm sorta in an emotional dilemna where all the odds are against me.

Gravity.
Is working against me.
Gravity.
Wants to bring me down.
Oh twice as much.
Ain't twice as good.
I can't sustain.
Like a one half could.
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees.

I wish I could stop everything now and yell at the face of the world: WHY? why must this happen to me? I'm probably another sucker who just doesn't get things to work out. A sucker who's just turning out to be an annoying third party.

It's times like these that I wish I could just give up.
A permenant release from all the pain.
I wouldn't lose much anyway.

Nothing Else Matters

2007-08-25T10:40:00.001+08:00

Things have changed.

And I don't know anymore.

She builds quick machines

2007-06-30T22:09:00.000+08:00

cts are over. End of story, don't dig up very touchy issues here by asking me to elaborate on how i did lol. All i can say is this:

FUCKED.

Stupid papers.

School totally sucks.

Move on to happier topics:

Yesterday was spent catching up with lang, aaron and kennedy. Went sweelee but din do anything constructive there. Was supposed to buy shoes but then we decided to play counterstrike instead. Lol, managed not to get owned too badly. Lang should seriously stop using awp and sorry aaron lol during knife match, kept accidentally picking up pistols so ya din mean to cheat.

Anyway, before that kennedy said he'll be late cos he had to take lunch with his mum. Then after that he smsed us telling us that he was buying lunch for her. About one plus hour later he said he was still buying lunch for his mum. o_O

After lan i left the group early cos my elder bro din allow me to go to lang's house to eat dinner and gay around. So i went home and went online and got bombarded with requests to go out for 4h gathering. And i found out sweelee was having a sale and persuaded heng to follow me there.

Trip to sweelee sims drive was a failure. Long queue and bloody smokers completely destroyed e mood. So we went to eat lunch with jeremy, cheejun, zenzel and samchong at long john silvers (my least favourite fast-food chain). After that went to play counterstike again in which i owned everybody haha cos the other players were all noob.

After lanning i finally realised that jeremy tan is dating samchong's cousin lol. And cheejun is dating nerissa? Quite hilarious really. Everyone seems to be getting attached but me, which is kinda expected cos i'm already attached to the new boss BD-2 blues driver i bought today haha. Fell in love with her when i saw her through the glass pedal. I was like "woah i gotta try her and play with her all day and night." Kay that was a weird sexual ineundo but you get the point.

Argh feeling pretty blue now. Maybe it's just the withdrawal symptoms of playing too much counterstike? Or have i lost somebody i've really loved? Was this feeling just so... superficial and temporary?

Kay that was random, scratch that.

Pissed off crap

2007-06-25T20:54:00.000+08:00

Damn pissing.

Econs was f-ing horrible. All the studying went to waste. Seriously. If I'd known I would have spent the time studying other stuff. All the content you memorize doesn't come in handy when you dunno when to use it in your essay or whether or not it's relevant. Not that I had the time to think about it anyway. Any slower and I wouldn't have completed the bloody paper.

Tommorow is maths. A subject I've been working my ass off for. If I screw up tommorow then I seriously have no hope of aceing anything. History as you all know is my favourite subject but very freaking hard to score cause of the miserable teachers.

Pissed off and mad at everything now lol. Vented my stress by playing the dani california solo 10 times (oh i can roughly start shredding btw =D) and watching the video series lang recommended to me: PokeMAN. Oh well, "Grab your dick and double click" hoho!!

Yup go watch it... me and my younger bro nearly died laughing. "To protect the world from masturbation; to unite all drug dealers within our nation!"

Okay screw it. Gonna fail tmr. Don't laugh you bloody motherf***ers.

Things on my mind

2007-06-21T22:19:00.000+08:00

1. Common Tests

2. Vulgarities

3. Guitar

4. jonmayertommyemmanuelvelvetrevolverslashgunsnrosesredhotchilipeppersmetallica

5. ODAC =D

6.angangangangangangangangangangangangangangangangangangangangang

shit i'm obsessed

Vultures

2007-06-15T16:39:00.000+08:00

Nicole's got first and second- degree burns on her thighs now and I think it's my fault.

It's not that I spilt the instant noodles on her, she spilt it accidentally.

But it's more like I could have reacted faster and should have dumped my entire water bottle onto her lap. I mean after nic scalded herself, she just sat there and stoned? That probably worsened the state of the burn. I really should have reacted faster, chances are that if I had, she wouldn't be in so much pain on that day. But oh well, I did my best to rectify the problem after that.

But apart from wednesday's misadventure, I spent the rest of the day mugging and going to some costume party that jiehui's church organized. Just went there to stone around and keep jiehui happy haha. She kept on telling EVERYONE that i was from cat high lol, which kinda got on my nerves cos my cat high history has always been bugging me. Apparantly, a lot of her church friends recognized me cos they're from cat high too. >< So there I was getting swamped with loads of questions like why i left cat high etc. Anyway, I dunno if they know if i'm already a christian cos they're now inviting me to go for more activities lol. Jiehui's already inviting me to go for some red rain concert this sunday. I tried to rope in lang and aaron, jugs and elt but to no avail so i decided to get odac guys instead. If none of them go then lol i'll feel pretty outta place again =(.

Anyway, I watched shrek 3 today with my family. My father's back from brunei until tommorow and my bro's out from ocs for a short holiday. Was supposed to be a happy day but as usual like any other family outing, it always turns out to be a scolding session. Like before we leave we must get nagged at and everyone's mood is spoilt? It didn't help either when it rained cats and dogs to suit the already depressing mood i was feeling. Screw it. My life sucks. I do housework and take care of my sister and that isn't enough for them? I mean at least I help out in the house la, there are some rich bastards who don't even care about their homes. So why can't they for once see the positive side of things and stop demanding so much from us? And why can't family outings be happy times? Sometimes I really dread the holidays cos it's a time when my parents will always bug me and scold me for various random shit.

Speaking of family outings, I'll be going to Paramount hotel later for a bbq by the pool to have a reunion with my dad's side. So i'll be seeing sean yap and my other wonderful cousins lol. Don't feel like talking much later, and i need to run tommorow to burn of all the excess fats i'll be taking in later.

Kay, I haven't done any mugging today. I'm off now!

Random

2007-06-12T22:09:00.000+08:00

Sorry for not updating; sometimes i lose all inspiration to pen down thoughts on cyberspace. Seriously though, blogging isn't all that interesting anymore. But just for the sake of it, lemme write down some shit for all you out there who still read this.

The school holidays are a bore. Everyday goes on by without any interesting event. Now that odac stuff is all over, I feel the pain of schoolwork catching up with me; therefore I've more or less confined myself at home trying to go through the endless chapters of functions all the way to screwy integration. fux.

I'm trying out several different approaches to mugging, namely: trying not to fall asleep and trying to fall asleep while mugging. There are certain things that never fail to put me to sleep such as the economist magazine which serves as a very bedtime story whenever i need to conk out for a power nap. Just today I read 2 articles and promptly fell asleep at the desk. ><

Whenever I'm not pretending to study I find myself playing guitar or surfing youtube lol. Gotta find a way to ban myself from doing those stuff. But sometimes cannot la, fingers itchy and just need to play something. I figure that playing with the guitar is better than playing with the computer or myself lol. So no choice right? Don't fault me for dissipating excess energy on conducive hobbies.

Recently I visited teo-n-teoh and came across a certain video that I got hooked unto. Quite bad la because of all the obscenities in it but heck la. Been trying to figure out all the bass notes on the electric lol. Next time if I have another gig can try singing it. But until then, I'll be working to try to buy some stuff such as a distort and wah pedal. Either that or i'll save up to buy a good guit. Argh no cash lol @#$**!

Down and Depressed

2007-05-28T17:08:00.000+08:00

Badly cut up. Shit this hurts like some crap :/

Resolutions

2007-04-17T22:03:00.000+08:00

Jia will:

1. Become more serious now that he's been elected into odac exco

2. Be a better person because he's now 17

3. Be more accomodating of people different from him

4. Get at least 29 points for Napfa

<3 ODAC

2007-03-16T20:51:00.000+08:00

Nice.

Valentine

2007-02-17T10:18:00.000+08:00

You know something's wrong when you keep thinking of someone when you sleep.

She crushes me, to the point of agony.

But Love blinds me anyway.

Counterstrike lol

2007-02-05T22:14:00.000+08:00

Head-shot baby. =)

california rest in peace

2006-11-13T22:12:00.000+08:00

I was clearing my shelves a few days earlier and guess what I've uncovered:

Yup, here's the old ncc stuff i stockpiled over the years. Some stuff is still missing and the uniform has long been chucked away into another desolate corner of my cupboard. But nevertheless, my days in ncc have thought me several good virtues, namely: punctuality, neatness, discipline and respect for authority. Though this uniform group is really a bit screwed up, it does have its pros. But I still won't recommend it to any sec 1.

This is what is left of my cat high uniform. 2 buttons are missing and several rings have been borrowed by my younger brother. I repolished the badge and name tag for this shoot. Sometimes I wonder why my batch was given green name tags. If you ask me, I would have prefered red tags because they look cooler yup.

I also managed to dig up about 20 RJC badges. Here, my only RI badge rests in a "sea" of RJC badges. Personally I prefer the RI badge because the RJC one looks too tall and bulky. THe RI one is small and compact, which makes it easier to pin onto my uniform.

I've mugged everything for A levels last year...

zzzzzzzzz...

All this clearing and diggind up of old class photos made me think of the time when I came into RI last year. I was a freshman while the others were all veterans of RI lifestyle. I came in with no idea who everyone was and I felt that I had to start all over again. I left Cat high with all my friends behind. The people around me had already organized themselves into their various lower sec cliques and I was left alone in the bus to obs with everyone around me joking about their lower sec lives. Apart from that, I had to catch up with the rest of them as they had been given assignments to do during the holidays which I had no idea about. I struggled trying to fit in, finally finding company with some ex-2h people and bonded with some 4h-ians as well. I'm just glad to have survived the ordeal of starting over again.

Okay i hope my blog is becoming a bit more interesting haha.

The end of an era

2006-11-08T22:55:00.000+08:00

So, I've finally graduated from RI and sec school. I don't really feel like putting all my thoughts on paper so I'll just let the pics speak for themselves.

Here's a photo of me and boy receiving our certs.

This is a 2h and 4h photo. Jeremy looks damn stone lol.

A photo taken with random people.

Doing weights with aaron teoh. He's a bit heavier, after cramming himself with the refreshments from the reception.

A snapshot with heng and baba noel.

Here's a photo I took with my cousin and family

Yup, I would like to say that my years in RI have been very memorable. I think I'll talk more about it in the next post, cost my elder bro wants to play com now.

KNNBCCB

2006-11-01T19:56:00.000+08:00

30 October:
I guess what's done is done, no point looking back now... those hours I spent mugging sec 1 to sec 4 stuff went to waste and i spotted the compo question wrongly. But I did put up a good fight nonetheless, the results I shall leave to God.

The only thing I fear now is that my results would not meet my tuition teacher's expectations lol. She expects me to get an A2 at least and she always tells me about my cousin's achievements and it seriously pisses me off lol. I hate it when people always compare me to other people and tell me how good other people are, it crushes my already fragile ego.

I really look down on myself. I do not think the talents I have are worth anything. I'm jealous of many people. I'm sensitive but I prefer to keep stuff to myself. I fade out during social gatherings. People around me talk about stuff I have faintly no idea about, simple because I wasn't a part of their class 2 years ago.

And lol I really have to say this: I REALLY DETEST LATECOMING.
People tell you to come at 6.30 and you bloody-hell come at 8 plus. WTH not everybody has the time to wait for you so you better be punctual. If you come 15 minutes late I can still understand but 1 hour late??? It's not that I don't have patience, it's about COURTESY! What picture are you sending out to everyone when you report 1 hour late? It hints that you aren't interested to come! If you're really keen on the dinner then you would have come at least 5 minutes earlier! I tell you, keep that late-coming habit and you will die in the army. I can promise you that.

Yup, I know I have lashed out strongly at some people just now. It's not in my nature to lash out at people, especially at friends, but when I do, it's because I want to drive a point to them. This is something I have kept to myself for some time but I think its time they really changed for the better.

only the names have changed

2006-10-19T21:37:00.000+08:00

Okay I'm back alive after cts. Surprisingly, physics didn't kill me that badly. Chem failed to break my spirit and I managed to pull through, barely. But so far the cts seem to be quite crap lol, even my bastion of defence- history wavers in its potential to get a 4.0. I mean when they ask us to do SBQ, at least make the question relevant to the source la dots. Lit today was full of nonsense too, they give us a poem for us to use as a stimulus, telling us that we shouldn't use it to do our analysis. Then why give it to us in the first place? And the questions they gave asked us to ddo stuff "with close reference to the poem and the text". So they jagged themselves.

Anyway, last sunday's party at my house went okay. Didn't really mess up much.

Here's a picture of my brother's girlfriends lol. The one standing next to the teacher is none other than Meryl Joan Lee Yan Ci, Singapore Idol Contestant. Apart from her, the rest aren't really much to look at lol. If I can get my hands on more of my brother's girl pictures I'll upload them lol. Anyway, his class came over to have a little dinner and playtime so I decided to play too. Played badminton with his 28 year old teacher and trashed him haha. But alas, the call of maths and chemistry ct got the better of me and I returned to my solitary confinement in the mug room.

Here's another picture haha, and cute pretty meryl is the only girl standing up in the pic. My brother is the one with the short hair, all ready to enlist lol. Canoeist count in this picture is only 1 out of the 3 in my brother's class. The person not in RJ uniform is my brother's physics teacher, who could easily pass off as another green-skirted one. Oh here in RI we have this saying, "The grass is greener on the other side, and so are the skirts." I think I heard that from teo boy or something jokes. In general, Cook's class is quite nice, but a tad noisy when you're trying to cram organic chem, eletrolysis, fuel cells, equilibrium etc into your head while they're laughing away.

So anyway, I hope I won't die for cts when results come out next week, and for hcl o levels for that matter. English i hope i can somehow get 4.0, chinese i know i have 3.2, maths maybe 4.0, chem i hope i can maintain 4.0, physics maybe 3.6 and I tell you if I just maintain my scores for the rest, I will get at least 3.7 something for this semaster. =D

Okay I'll go pray now lol.

"My ass is on fire!"

2006-10-08T20:34:00.000+08:00

I haven't updated for some time yeah little kiddies? Been caught up with some crappy assignments and tests. Well, the ordeal ain't over, it's only just begun lol.

Yesterday was the stupid lit play that we've been stayingup so late for... preparing the 3 plus page long oral defense. Sorry Kevin for ripping your pants during the play lol. Anyway i screwed up during my entry into the stage, running the frame over my left foot and leving it with a bad bruise... ouch.

My suspicions have been confirmed! All lit teachers are desportate father-****-ing *****s. Ya and GEPs seriously have no shame when it comes to getting a good grade, and they will pay through the nose to get the marks lol, including nearly-exposing their nether regions to 4 horny lit teachers. But who am I to change this? "Nothing we don't want to change will ever change." Yeah something like that lah.

Anyway we moved into the new rajaratnam block on thursday. As usual there was the crappy RI formality that we had to put up with. Seriously I think RI is a very "political" school, meaning that everything it does centres towrds getting media attention. But I guess that when you are at the top, you would naturally get pretty pompous lol.

Now I'm currently holding onto my highly uncertain 4.0 for maths. I have a feeling that I'm gonna screw up ct lah... dunno I just need to ace the cts asap. Somehow I just have an overwhelming feeling to get out of RI now... I'm getting a bit pissed at the way things are being run and even at some of my peers. Be it faggots, irritating bootlickers or people who keep wasting my time, I'm had my fill of them and I just wish they would just cut me some slack.

But then again, would I be happy once i enter RJC? It wouldn't be the same bunch of people around me there... and I bet the friends I have now are sure to change in one way or another there. And what about canoeing? Can i cope? Is that really what I want? Lol... will just have to see next friday at the open house.

Check back after cts or next week.

Got me on my knees

2006-09-25T16:43:00.000+08:00

Oh no I'm damn screwed.

I mugged my ass off for maths and i think I'm going to get barely satisfactory results lol. Plus chinese prelims and the big "O" yeah, my tuition teacher says I'm going to get a C5, and all this while I had been expecting a B3.

Way to burst my bubble.

Actually I think I'm quite dumb, I work very hard for some subjects but I can't score as high as abnormalalties such as zenn chua and the GEPs. On the other hand, I think my talents are really quite useless; who would need a guy who's good in history or lit? lol.

I can't tell you how glad I am now that maths cct and HCL Prelims are over. However, there's still probability and statistics TA to go; chalk that up with another physics quiz.

But what's really bugging me right now is the English Portfolio which happens to be due tommorow. Stupid DeCruz lost my pen awards essay and my biography reflections. Good job Mr Fatass. Moreover, Lit essay test is tommorow and I still haven't prepared yet. Looks like I'm gonna be awake an entire night again.

I'm seriously not getting enough sleep. ><

I will not worship the swastika

2006-09-17T23:21:00.000+08:00

Perheps I'm turning Nazi, reducing certain disgusting and revolting characters in my class to the derogatory status of "animal" and "sub-human".

Maybe elton is right: I am turning into a delusioned, aryan-loving, "non-aryan"-hating frenzied fascist bent on world domination.

It kinda worries me.

I know I'm supposed to "love thy neighbour as thou lovest thyself" but I find it especially had to do so around annoying jackasses like *ahem ahem*. I shall say no more.

Recently, there have been two losses to the Rafflesian family: one sec 3 student who decided to play soccer in the rain and die to some "unknown" cause- stupidity. And... a JC1 student who decided to jump of a woodlands HDB building even though he lives in Bishan.

Yes, RI boys are stupid. No need to thank me for acknowledging that.

Somehow I do not feel the pinch. Yah, that pinch of grief whenever someone dies... the exact way I felt when I lost my uncle barely a month ago. Maybe my Rafflesian Spirit hasn't really clicked yet, but then again, being only part of this revered institution for only 2 years, I guess it kinda makes me only a 2nd-rate Rafflesian. LOL.

But anyway, there have been other things that trouble me, such as the Lit CRP die tommorow and the onslaught of the HCL prelims on tuesday. Wonder how I can cope with 4 hours of non-stop writing. I've never trained endurance for forearm before but never this is totally unrelated so please ignore that. =)

Okay I've pretty much convinced myself that I'm blogging nonsense, maybe its just the exam fever. ROFLE

Purple Haze

2006-09-10T20:51:00.000+08:00

It's been a long while right little kiddos?

But lim peh has been just too lazy to talk to you little kids.

Physics PT. Integration TA. bluddysonofabitch English Portfolio. Irritating HCL O levels.

What could get worse?

The answer is: People nagging at you to finish them when you're already bugged out by the fact that you have to finish them; AND when people are already reminding you about these things.

Ya that just happened a while ago with my mum. She started reminding me about the chinese O levels and how i needed to do well so that I can don't take chinese in JC lol. I told her that I merely needed a D7 to drop chinese in JC and then she told me not to waste her money that she spent on my tuition lol.

Then I just said "enough".

That's when the scolding really started lol.

Yah, me and my big fat mouth. (Not as fat as Yngwie's though) But I really can't help it when I people start to irritate me. I mean its the last day of the holidays and maybe I can cut me some slack huh? Besides, I've already finished mugging for Integration TA and my chinese isn't all that hopeless... Why do you still have to hit me with thoughts about school today?

Or maybe I'm just being tempermental again.

Anyway, I've been trying to sort out various problems in my life. These include: pimple problems, parent problems, physics problems and physique problems. Yeah they all start with "P".

But I feel that I have more or less solved the "female" problem that plagued me a month ago. Yah, what a relief... turned out that two-year-old feelings will not just disappear into the shadows in a matter of days.

Yup, so that's it. Will try to update more often. Actually, that might be a little difficult because the HCL Prelims are coming in less than a fortnight haha.

Okay check back soon!

I'm Alright

2006-08-30T17:39:00.000+08:00

My uncle passed away yesterday at 1 plus in the afternoon, losing a 2-month long battle with cologne cancer.

What was I doing at 1 plus in the afternoon? Probably joking and talking cock with Lang and Elt in the 4H classroom. I only received the news at 4 plus while answering nature's call in the Admin Block toilet. Great.

The thing is, I'm not like breaking down and weeping or something like what my elder brother did, instead I just don't feel a thing, I'm getting on with life as usual. Nothing's changed and yup, I was never really close to my uncle, but after his unfortunate demise I just have this looming sense of regret that I never really treasured him.

But still I wonder: Why him? He was only 48 years old when he passed away... why him of all people? My uncle has led a difficult life as a supervisor in a factory, supporting a family of 3 and is a very humble person. Why did he have to have terminal cancer in the 1st palce? His daughter is only 2 years old this year! When I think of it I grow pissed lol, its like there are so many assholes in this world but they get the good breaks. My uncle, a kind and hardworking person, had to pass away so suddenly.

The last time I saw my uncle alive was on sunday night. I went to visit the hospice in which he resided. The doctor said he had two months more to live.

He passed away two days later.

So much for medical science in the modern world.

Listening to "Gone" by Switchfoot now... really suits the mood now huh?

NBCCB

2006-08-20T20:45:00.000+08:00

This has been a pretty bad week for me. I'm really pissed with the following groups of people:
1. Interact Club
They have forgotten how much work and sacrifice I've done for the club, giving the best interactor awards to other people just because I wasn't in the club for 4 years. I mean what kind of excuse is that? There are people who can just join the club for 5 months and they can become President/ Committee members? Yea wth man... stupid assholes. What's more, I take the initiative to do all the shit and I don't even get no shit in return. I volunteered to usher yesterday, gave out plates to visitors, entertain them etc and all the directors were just stoning at one side. Wow, serving with love, we're sure. Needless to say, I'm completely disillusioned with the stupid international action movement. Helping people in need? Right...
Anyway, here are some photos from the installation:

With all the Sec 4 Jokers who showed up.
Note that Aaron's eyes always seem to be closed.

Aaron: Awww... I can't stand all the attention. *blushes*

With good buddy and fellow dq i/c Jevon Yeoh.

Aaron and I decided to have a hot debate on why Jeff Lopez said he said he didn't want tekua in his bak chor mee when he didn't say that he didn't want tekua in his bak chor mee.

"Firstly, I think he was too busy trying to find the gahmen form in his briefcase to really think about what he was saying..."

"But I thought he said he submit that one orreddi... oh crap let's not argue about that too..."

Then we decided to play the piano!

Aaron: Yay! I know how to play mombasa on the piano! Wait something doesn't sound right...

...I think there's something stuck inside...

Okay basically that's it for installation.

2. Backstabbers
Lol I think I must be wary about people who will badmouth me behind my back and spread bad or false rumours about me to my friends. Oh, and there are people whom I thought were my buddies but in the end I guess they thought otherwise about me. Sometimes I wonder: why be a nice person when the other party doesn't appreciate it and even loathes you as a result? Yah,, its true that close friendships are very hard to forge sometimes. We can never know who our true friends are until we spend lots of time knowing each other. Yah, just some food for thought la. Not gonna start ranting on and off about backstabbers and ingrates. But I'm extremely thankful for close friends such as Lang, Aaron, elton, Jun Wei, HZ, Kennedy etc. I know I can count on therse people. xP

3. Myself
Somehow I just feel very pissed with myself. Not sure why but yeah I just hate myself for being so stupid at times. Sometimes I guess its the way I talk or maybe its the way I feel that just sends the wrong message to others. This usually results in lots of miscommunication which could turn ugly if not dealt with properly. Furthermore, I should learn not to dao people. Even if people dao me I shall not dao them back, I mean it really sucks to be daoed but at least they can't say that I didn't take the 1st step. And maybe I shouldn't render myself to be so bulliable by being too nice to some people as well. Yeah...

Recently, I met an RGS girl in the gym. She's kinda nice and has a very pretty smile. Kinda puts me in a dilemna now becuase I was the one who took the initiative in the 1st place and now if I cut myself some slack I think she won't be very happy too. And I'm really plagued with guilt too because I know I shouldn't be doing this either; but what's the point of staying true when the person never really reciprocates? Or maybe patience is the key... I shall wait for a good solution to this girl problem...
Anyway this has been my longest post to date and I hope you guys have enjoyed it. =)

fade to black

2006-08-17T22:14:00.000+08:00

The mornings seem to start later
Though they start with dull, grey and overcast skies.
Through all the rigour and packed schedules
Worksheets and other nonsensical commitments
You can possibly think of.
But still I wonder
Will you still be there
When all the darkness fades away
Into the light of dawn?

what a weekend

2006-08-13T23:16:00.000+08:00

I really think I should mind my language, I've been swearing one too often these days.
Anyway, I had chalet with the dramafeste guys on fri. THe bbq was nice thanks to Jun Wei and I really enjoyed it. Played corridor soccer which was really quite fun as well and you don't need skill to own, just ram haha. Watched catwoman, little snippets of house of wax as we were in the room playing guitar and recording podcasts and national security. Ok, in all I only had an hour of sleep, I rock yes I know.
Walked to changi Village after the chalet and all of us were talking about the hanson-seng henk scandal, the condom that aaron filled with water and burst it in the process and singing Bee Gees songs haha. This was followed by a brief breakfast of beancurd in the hawker centre. Home after that to do History and head to church for fellowship to play guitar for praise session.
I left halfway during church to go for planetshakers concert at the expo. Well, it was VERY crowded haha, so we were really compacted. I helped Kennedy smuggle in his chicken whopper Jr under my coolio Pullover!
Anyway, Jevon and I now know why the band is called "Planetshakers". Because it really shakes your ass off lol. When we gripped a balloon, you can really hear the vibrations of the subwoofer pulsating throught the air it contained haha. I think I lost half of my hearing during the concert, and I swear I will not be attending anymore rock concerts anytime soon.
Rushed home as fast as possible cause of my 11 pm curfew, arrived home 15 minutes late but thankfully I wasn't grounded. =)
Church today and I've just finished history! Now I can go take a little rest before rushing chem and physics soon hah.
Okay check back later.

6 weeks of hell gone for 4 weeks of mayhem

2006-08-07T21:42:00.000+08:00

Okay, I managed to survive the past week of tests and performance tasks. Yeah, what a relief. Now I'm caught up in a 4 week torture period going for useless and boring "advanced" lessons lol. Got stuck in a class full of sec 3s and I'm the only sec 4, damn. So much for being sick on the 1st day of the sign-ups.
So what can I do? lol. Just have to endure and slog through these 4 weeks without letting my normal studies slip too badly. I really hope that I will be disciplined enough to start studying on me own haha, especially integration and the probability syllabus which is probably going to be tested in the form of probably a TA. That remains in a very high probability. Okay that's not funny so ignore that.
Saturady was newspaper collection which went on pretty well, except that many of the sec 2s Prem, Jun Wei and I were in charge of were assholes. To tuition after that and fellowship. On Sunday we rushed our SS project, only to discover that we couldn't extract the videos using Jeremy's camcorder. So yeah, we did some of the editing today. (And I hate being the &#*(@^#&*!!! narrator lol)
Oh, I'm sorry my friends if I told any of you that I could make it for FOP but did not go. Seriously did not have time and I could not go on sunday either because I had to celebrate my dad's birthday online. I don't see my dad very much, so you guys know how much it means to me =)
Okay, tommorow we're doing SS again. Cya later.

Dramafeste

2006-07-30T20:33:00.000+08:00

So, dramafeste is finally over. Though I must admist that my contribution to the overall production is really no where close to outstanding individuals like jw, elt and co, I must say that it has really left me with fond memories of this house play.
Yup, at least I did my job whole-heartedly, contrary to what ben hong might think, I really didn't slack for the entire 2 weeks of stupid ticketing and stuff, coming down every single recess and lunch to find that weirdo quah and stone outside the LT hopelessly trying to promote matinee tickets. Yeah, I hope this will earn Morrison some Process marks =)
Of course, the most memorable part of dramafeste to me was yesterday, when i spent the entire day at school doing all the behind-the-scenes work with the rest of the crew. Well, I've learnt the importance of concentration over your body through the actors. Furthermore, though drama kinda makes you turn gay, i admire actors for their sheer focus and discipline to even compose themselves for the show. Oh, and I got a soft toy and card from Wen Jun. Wei, I thank them very much too, cos I don't think I really deserve it haha.
Well, physics and chinese ccts next week, RE is due tommorow and lol... my ss group is damn slack. We can just go straight to hell now. check back soon.

Stress

2006-07-22T09:33:00.000+08:00

Just came back from a 5km run around the estate. Feeling really shag lol, and I feel down too. Guess the school stress is getting to me, quite blatantly seen from how easily I explode nowadays. Somehow I think that my struggle for academic excellence and at the same time building up my physique is kinda paradoxical, as in I want to be happy with life but I end up over-exerting myself all the time? I thought good grades were supposed to make us happy and contented but when you look at chao muggers like zenn chua you can see that whoa, that muggerish life is not the way to go lol. But they get all the good breaks.
There's physics and chinese CCTs coming up in a fortnight and I'm still stoning, trying to destress after maths CCT. Lol, I will end up pushing myself sooner or later because SS project is gonna be due soon and RE is due round the corner too. Screw the stupid Raffles Programme.
Athletics-wise, I think I've really concentrated a lot on my upper body, I can already see how disproportionate my body is. My arm muscles have really grown but my legs remain puny and insignificant. Oh well, all in the name of canoeing.
Increased Lat weight by another 1o lbs, did till muscle failure and now my back aches like some pundat lol. Bicep curls were not to be neglected either, increased by 2.5 lbs and I think I'm gonna start hardcore training of chest soon so that I can wear spandex next year. Just joking.
It's really high time I started bulking up, I haven't hit the 60 kg mark and lol my metabolism is just to high to make significant weight gains. Of course, I intend to do this without the help of supplements or protein powder cos they're only for noobs and steroids are a NO-GO. The hallmark of a true canoeist is to become a muscle mama without screwing up your body and of course his fertility (which creatine has been reputedly been known to cause).
Oh and I think I really must say this: there's a certain someone in my class who's really been such a jerk. When he accidentally bumps into someone, he wants that person to apologise. I mean how screwed up is that? Not that we want to be bigoted but he has just proven us right all the time that he is one big asshole. You tell us that you're anti-establishment and you suck up to teachers? You're part of the minority and you try to push your weight around... Stupid jackass. Go reflect on why the entire class thinks you're a second JT... and lol! yesterday was racial harmony day... big joke.
Argh, I'm aching everywhere now lol. Going to do something useful now...

Stupid Bald Frenchie

2006-07-10T22:17:00.000+08:00

Yup, World cup's over and of course France had to lose in order to make me happy. Hot favourites France just couldn't do much but get their asses out of the stadium the minute they found out they had lost. And they can keep the stupid baldie too.

Seriously wonder why so many girls are infatuated with this violent and rough balide, getting suspended in the Champions League for headbutting as well. No wonder he has to shave his head bald to make a harder impact. One more thing, he can't shoot the ball for nuts, he can only head the ball. The only shot on goal he ever made in the final was his header which was fortunately saved by buffon lol. He only excels in penalty kicks which of course is a giveaway method for scoring in matches, no glory at all. Compare that with Italy's goal la, that header was chao pro ok?

So finally France is out and Zidane is gone from international soccer at last. How happy can I get?

Germany will win World Cup 2010!

Back

2006-07-08T21:19:00.000+08:00

Woah... been on hiatus for a month. Nothing really much to say except that I've started on my hardcore torture training in order to prepare myself for canoeing next year. Been trying to force-feed myself to hit the 60 kg mark but I'm still stuck at 59.6 kg... shucks.
My gym-freak of an uncle says that eating lots of high calorie food will help, so I'm poised to kill myself everyday with 5 meals per day lol.
Yup, gotta train harder in order to make it! Maybe I'll increase my bicep weight next time I hit the gym, or should I just increase my rep? lol okay bye.

Charity, Camp and Casts

2006-06-09T21:18:00.000+08:00

I'm typing this with a @*$#!! cast on my right arm.
Was going to buy food and return the shop auntie's umbrella when the umbrella got caught in the spoke of my bike. THe umbrella jammed the bike wheel and I flew onto the street lol. If I hadn't used my arm to dampen the impact I might have ended up like Timothy from 4G, with front teeth knocked out and a concussion.
But well, here I am with just a few bruises and a mildly fractured elbow. Lucky huh.
Well I really have to say this but I think we live in "a nation of Assholes" (Quote from Talkingcock.com)
In the midst of gaining material wealth and indulging in the luxuries that a capitalist society can afford, we have lost our inner soul. When I FLEW off my bicycle, passer-bys just said "haiyo" and walked off and left me lying on the road to fend for myself. What the hell.
Another example: Busking @ Orchard. WTH la, when I started to approach a woman, whe started sprint all the way past Jev and I WEARING HEELS. When we approached an Indian woman with the money box, she leaned back in a sort of matrix posture, lol something like this:

Lol, who would have thought that we would find professional stuntmen along the streets of Orchard Road? The matrix crew should have just hired orchard road shoppers. And there was a case of an old woman with her daughter. Approach them, they give us a glare and just walk towards the other Interactors asking for donations and give to them instead. Like wth la, didn't know even adults could be such AP bastards.
But otherwise busking was okay lar, managed to scam a few HCJC girls and a few girls who wanted me to take a picture of some GE guy. Anyway, it rained so busking was cancelled halfway. Eunice Tay might say it turned out better than expected but I think it sucked, actually. We only collected $1000 for the simple reason that the professionals were at the wrong place and time. We were stationed at Paragon la, and all the noob kidz were at the more popular areas? Like hey, why assign the least experienced people to the more crowded areas and let them just stone there without a single idea how to approach people when the experienced ones have virtually no one to approach? Oh and yes, they assigned GE to busk at paragon so we had to carry the chairs all the way from the MRT to paragon lol. Why can't they just let them busk at the mural area instead? Thankfully, we have muscle-mamas Jevon, Yan Xiang, Aaron and yours truly to carry the chairs to and fro.
Okays, enough about busking. The performance at Dover Hospice was okay. Jevon practiced for nothing lol. Then we broke camp and I went to eat at Yoshinoya in J8 for the very first time. Shuchks, I feel guily eating fast foor, be eat western or eastern, its all the same----> UNHEALTHY.
Now I'm stuck with this cast on and I can't go gym and running and I feel like some weak slob.
Oh yesterday, Jeremy, Lang, Prassat and I went to Rui Lin's house to do SS project. Fairly productive, at least we have all our roles clear and the topic has been decided. Played pool after that, think I really deproved lar, used to be able to own in Dad's officer's mess but now I have been humiliated by stress boy.
This has been a very sucky week. =(

Guitar

2006-06-04T22:35:00.000+08:00

Shit. I've just discovered how utterly noob I am as compared to this horny bastard.

Yup... Jake the wonderboy never ceases to dazzle us with another one of his ukulele antics.
Went to Jugs' house after 3 hours of hardcore chink tuition (bleah). Did nothing but fool around as usual, maybe play a little guitar here and there. Of course we found better things to do like listen to the Mr Brown show (for those who still haven't gotton your copy of the persistantly non-politacal podcast, please go to the link on langnaaron's blog) and playing a hyper lame card game called cheat/bluff or whatever. So its like Elton was getting owned all the way and he was purposely trying to get all 4 Aces? Lol. That's my squirrelboy.

Well that's elt's nuts for you.

I- Camp tommorow, and I haven't done my packing yet. But like who really cares about I-camp haha. I hope the teachers treat us to free pizza again because that's my favourite food yeah! Oh and Lang and Aaron still haven't done that interview with Kennedy yet. Oh well, we'll jsut have to see what turns out when we try to interview/ strip him during camp tommorow! Okay check back soon!

myRIad

2006-05-28T21:07:00.000+08:00

Today was pretty eventful.
Race in the morning with Kenjugs... my first race since 1500m...
Donned on my pretty hot morrison shirt and coolio mizuno shorts not used since the 2004 Australian Open.
Despite not having trained properly for the race, we Jugs got 6th and the 5th place was proudly secured by yours truely... beating some NYP crossers and dare-i-say some RGS trackers as well. Shit. The medal is so cheapskate that I pulled it apart... but the bag they gave me was nice though... Now I finally have a bag for hanging out! Jokes... look how financially deprived I am...
Speaking of bags... I must thank Lang for lending me his Hiringa bag for today...
Had some time to spend with Linette and her pals, along with elt, Jugs, Jev, JW and company...
Hope it was a nice outing for all... I played my part as a good hist by having dinner with Nette and co... hope they enjoyed it. Well, it was dinner at burger king. It just tastes better than macs, but I abstained from fries as usual.
Oh and yes, about the concert. I think RISE was the most boring lol, nearly slept but I was rejuvenated when I heard the exhilirating music played by the beloved RIGE... thanks hengz and fiqster.
Hm its kinda rare to see all the RI musical groups in action. I mean... we only get a few glimpses of them practicing in school and shattering a few windows here and there (just joking). But I dare say that they did an excellent job today because my beloved guests were really impressed! =) And I have to admit that the Raffles Voices are really quite good after all, though they might be confused about their sexual identity at times but yea... it they sing well and bring honour to the school... who cares?
Oh and I finally learnt how to play mombasa... though my playing still stinks lol.
Cya soon folks.

2006-05-21T21:55:00.000+08:00

Morrison Auspicium Melioris Aevi

And like hell that rocked your socks off too

2006-05-14T23:15:00.000+08:00

Recently, I have received complaints that what i blog about is nonsense.
So, to keep those cockamarine mouths shut... here's some stuff to look at.
And I do admit that I pinched it from Jeremy's blog. Ain't it great?

Write down 20 of ur friends' names.
1.Xuan Lang
2. Heng Zhong
3. Elton
4. Kai Bin
5. Jun Wei
6. Kennedy
7. Aaron
8. Yao Xian
9. Lucas
10. Jun Liang
11. Linette
12. Joel
13. Jeremy
14. Evonne
15. Joy
16. Yan Xiang
17. Yu Er
18. Walter
19. Chee Jun
20. Jevon

1. How did you meet 14? Known von von since she i was a little kiddo sucking my thumb and wetting my diapers... juz kidding... met her in chariskidz.
2. What would you do if you never met 1? Hang myself.
3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated? hmm... would be interesting... i've never seen two guys smooching before...
4. Did you ever like 19? Of course... i like sexy boys who play tennis.
5. Would 6 and 17 make a good couple? not bad lar... if u ignore the 3 yr age gap.
6. Describe 3. Can sometimes get on my nerves. But he's a great pal nonetheless, and i like squeezing his arms.
7. Do you think 8 is attractive? Ok lar... but i think i already like Chee Jun
8. Tell me sth about 7. Cockster. End of story.
9. Do you know any of 12's family? Yup... his bro's my friend too...
10. What's 8's favourite? ME
11. What will you do if 18 confessed she/he likes you? Tell him i'm already engaged to Chee Jun
12. What language does 15 speak? Sacarsm
13. Who is 9 going out with? Rest of the TAS dudes.
14. Howold is 16? 16... jokes
15. When was the last time you talkedto 13? Today... in church
16. Whats 2's fave band/singer? Tommy Emmanuel?
17. Would you ever date 4? I'm already engaged to Chee Jun
18. Would you ever date 7? I'm already engageg to Chee Jun
19.Is 15 single? yes... i mean no... but no i liedd...
20. What is 10's last name? erm... Ho?
21. Would you ever be in a serious relationship with 11? I really don't know.
22. Which school is 3 in? RI
23. Where does 6 live? Ang Mo Kio
24. Whats your fave thing about 5. Good guy to have around... goes with me to the gym regularly...
25. have you ever seen 1 naked? half-naked in the swimming pool? yes...

ok i know this is stupid... so bye!

2006-05-07T22:43:00.000+08:00

time to run that last lap...

2006-04-23T20:30:00.000+08:00

Yeah... it just seems that my life is one monotonous little cycle.
Where people do not care about anything else but their mundane commitments
and meaningless, dead dead marks.
Everything is all so "memorizable". Can we judge a person by points or grades alone?
Hmmm... hypocrisy reigneth supreme...
smile when she's around, talk behind her back... the Victorians aren't dead yet...
I'm just another loser caught in a losing battle.

2006-04-16T23:46:00.000+08:00

they've come after all, those vermin
so dip your head in the water, sugarbabe
in time you will come to realise
the very futility of your struggle
and mine for that matter...

2006-04-09T22:31:00.000+08:00

...drown myself in a whirlpool of sorrow
I don't want to be another hoots-to-his-name
shucks be to the pain in the shin
and everything else for that matter...
*lest you forget*

2006-04-02T22:38:00.000+08:00

"whee and let's worship those demented idols
of yours who swanter around the stage.
So scream your hearts out 'lil kiddies
there's not a worry in this adrenaline rush
cos there our stars reigneth and dictate our every thought.
After all, our sole purpose in life is to
splurge money, time and resources
on such superficial and meaningless teenage
fetishes... but ain't that great?"

2006-03-26T21:43:00.000+08:00

heh so you all got pwned
seems that life's just
taken its toll on us
so don't look back little kiddies
guess its NC-16 after all

2006-03-16T18:21:00.000+08:00

man, need to go to the gym

2006-03-06T02:52:00.000+08:00

I got rid of that #^&@#^*!! tagboard, its irritating and it takes bloody long to load.
For those of you who might find it necessary to leave a comment, feel free to do so.

you can shut me out, walk out that door a few edges away
so take your knickers along with you and don't trip over the sidewalk

2006-02-26T23:23:00.000+08:00

WHO'S YOUR BAGHDADDY?

i'm off the hizzle for a shizzle

mmhmm

2006-02-19T23:08:00.000+08:00

"Kick the Butt!"
There goes your attempt
at sounding cool and idiomatic.

2006-02-12T23:49:00.000+08:00

Well, so i like teen titans
and I think starfire's cute.
But it doesn't matter anyway.
Sing it along to any of your
humble anthems.
With pride and with gusto
of course.

2006-01-31T22:48:00.000+08:00

So my dad's going back to brunei tomorrow with my mum.
And heck, Chinese New Year's just another ruse.
Everyone's wound up like a spring and
forgetting the rest of your priorities, at least for now,
enjoy this last merry-go-round. It's just another novacaine dose.

2006-01-27T21:32:00.000+08:00

you call me the anti-social elite.
But have you ever wondered,
ever taken a single minute of your dim-witted life,
to even ponder that by dressing up
in expensive punkish aka gothic aka tattered clothing,
you have actually turned yourself into
society's fly in the swatter?

2006-01-23T21:58:00.000+08:00

You call it a discussion

but what's the point of it when you've already

made up your mind beforehand?

2006-01-20T22:21:00.000+08:00

"Seniority does not bring the sweet blissfulness of life, neither does it pay to be a junior all the time. So we should just go straight to hell. And heck, don't bother getting cremated as your remains would eventualy become fossil fuel for humanoids millions of years later."

2006-01-18T21:21:00.000+08:00

well we've gotten nailed

you tell me why

when we've been bombarded with lies and

face subliminal mind-control messages.

Take Cover